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To be sure, many of these women lead productive and fulfilling lives without ever marrying, some even decide to have children without husbands, but a common thread I have observed among many is a wistfulness for a part of life which has been denied to them…a part of life all other groups of women take for granted.
I have set out in this book to explore the lives of black women who have chosen to cross the racial divide in their quest for personal happiness.
Most young girls grow up fantasizing about dating and marrying someone within their own racial/ethnic group, and indeed, approximately 87% of marriages in the U. are between people of the same racial/ethnic backgrounds.
Black girls growing up today face a very different reality as illustrated by a few daunting statistics.
“Relationships with other men of color don’t hold the same historical dimensions,” she said.
“Their stories – without including their race, in many cases –are typical of anybody else’s story: parents objecting, financial problems, sexual issues.” Black women are the only group of women in America who cannot take for granted that if they seek marriage to a black man that there will be an ample supply of available men from which to choose.
This is not a new problem; indeed, it goes back several decades but there hasn’t been much public discussion about how to resolve this issue.
It is almost like the plight of black women looking for eligible partners is the elephant in the room.
Between issues related to skin color, hair texture, and low self-esteem, it is more difficult for black women to talk about it publicly to draw attention to the problem.